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19 November 2008 @ 11:42 am
Day 505 - Wednesday 19th November.  
Kyah's breathing has changed to short, sharp bursts so we are fairly certain this is it now (though we've been saying that for how long? Five weeks?!)
She hasn't had any urine output in over 48 hours so the tumour is either blocking her bladder or obstructing her kidneys.  Either way it's not good.
It feels like a lifetime since she's been in this state of sleep and we have willed her to release but now that it looks as though the end is fast approaching, I'm not ready for her to go. 
A new drug has been added to her syringe driver (cyclozine) to try and combat the constant vomiting.  As Kyah's body is not even tolerating the smallest amounts of water, it is awful to then watch her vomit on an empty stomach.

It's all happening so quickly after being stagnant for so long.  I'm very close to rambling so will end this here.

I continue to hope that Kyah's end is peaceful.
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:50 pm (UTC)
We all do too, Shannell
Hang in there. We're all standing behind you for this bit. May she go peacefully.

Lots of love to you all.
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:52 pm (UTC)
Praying for a peaceful end
Just want to let you know I'm thinking of you all and hoping she can slip away peacefully too, heartbroken that it has reached this stage, I was hoping for a miracle as well...its no wonder she doesn't want to leave her wonderful family... :-(
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:53 pm (UTC)
Kyah, you beautiful, brave little angel, embark on your next journey knowing that you are one of the most-loved little girls to have graced this planet for all too short a time.

Sal + family xxx
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:53 pm (UTC)
*Prayers*
What a hard long road you have all had to travel. I hope she goes in peace. My heart aches for you all and what you have had to go through. Hugs for you all.
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:54 pm (UTC)
Huge Hugs!
I wish I could give you more. I don't think you could ever be ready for it to happen! I pray that she is peace full and pain free. I'm here holding your hands, giving hugs and wishing you the strength to carry on.
Jenni
Love to you and yours.
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:55 pm (UTC)
Thinking of beautiful Kyah, and your whole family at this hard time.
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:56 pm (UTC)
im sorry theres
nothing I can say to ease your pain. Just know im thinking about you and yours.xxx
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:56 pm (UTC)
Hugs and lots of love to you all... and I do also hope that Kyah's end is peaceful and pain free.

Karen, Stephan and Rachel xx
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:57 pm (UTC)
Rest now sweet baby girl. xxxxx thinking of you all
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:57 pm (UTC)
I really am at a loss for words in fact I cry every time I read your journal as I can't fathom what you are going through. I wish your family all the strength in the world and I hope Kyah's passing is peaceful and beautiful for you.

Fly free little angel.
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:57 pm (UTC)
love, hugs and thoughts.....
Oh shannell my love and thoughts are with you and your amazing family right now and i'm sure she will go so peacefully.

xxooxxooxxoo
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:58 pm (UTC)
Spread your wings sweet angel & go peacefully, it's okay to let go sweetheart xxx.

Shanell, Jase & boys - I send you all my love & my thoughts are with you all.

K, M & J
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:58 pm (UTC)
Love to you all
and have not stopped thinking of you all every day xxx Tommi2-TMMB
suspicion bells: This Is Called Lovesuspicion_bells on November 18th, 2008 10:58 pm (UTC)
Sending hugs to you all...

Kylie & family
xoxoxoxox
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:59 pm (UTC)
My love to all of you
No words i say will be right. But all my love and thoughts are with you. Kyah you are a true gem. You shined your light on a lot of people. You changed how a lot of people think. Take care of your hearts and be kind to your self. Love and hugs Collette Lee Riley Conner and Lillyrose
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:59 pm (UTC)
Kyah is amazing
Much love to you and your family and I too wish for a peaceful and painless end for Kyah - she continues to amaze me and your story has made me stop and think and look awhile at my babies and appreciate them a little bit differently - Words seem so meaningless but from my family to yours Kia Kaha
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:59 pm (UTC)
It must seem like the longest wait and yet
it is an end that is so hard and so unfair. I wish for you
- a very peaceful passing for the most amazing almost three year old in the world
- the courage to face the pain ahead as a family
- the love for one another that shines through in all your writing to be strong.
My families support, respect and love flows with this to you Shanell and Jason, Kaleb and Jordan and all of your extended family - Judi (Nana of 3)
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 10:59 pm (UTC)
xxx
just letting you know, where here and think of you guys right now xxx westygirl TMMB
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 11:00 pm (UTC)
words are failing me right now, please know as I sit here crying...that you are all in my thoughts constantly.

Fly free little sweet butterfly xxxxx
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 11:01 pm (UTC)
I hope that for you too. And I send you all love and strength.
Kelle XXX
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 11:02 pm (UTC)
Fly free little butterfly. Play among the flowers. Be at peace little butterfly, let the sun shine brightly on your beautiful wings. Don't forget us little butterfly, we will always think of you. We love you little butterfly, and we always will.

Tracey (ANZ)
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC)
awww huge cyber hugs
to you guys. What a position to be in. While she's still physically here, you can see her and touch her even though its certainly not how you want to see your daughter, and for her to go means she's released from it all but then she's not there physically anymore :o( haha whats that you were saying about rambling?! God Shanell, Jason..just hugs ok? I hope she goes peacefully too. Will re-light our candles for her..she was starting to cost a small fortune in replacements what with that fighting spirit of hers! ;o) Thinking of you all.
Nikki (nzceltic)
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
We're thinking of you and your family.
Hoping that Kyah will be peaceful when she takes her place amongst the stars

x

Tania and family
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
sweet, sweet angel
Healing: A Gift of Self


At the end of life
when restoring health is no longer possible
Healing becomes more
than just the relief
of pain, suffering, and emotional distress.

During this challenging time
Healing manifests on the purest level--
an extension of the soul
a reflection of the spirit.

Real Healing is
an authentic expression of caring and love,
an aide in accepting a life drawing near,
helping a person discover a calming peace and a place of serenity on the journey leading to transition.

Healing becomes...
A cheerful smile
An open ear
A gentle touch
A warm embrace
Taking the time to listen, to be, and share a part of yourself.

The greatest gift one can give
may be the ability
to walk with a person
provide them with grace,
strength and courage
on their path to transition

...and then let go.

Kirsti A. Dyer MD


As usual you have my great admiration, love to you all
Debs
(Anonymous) on November 18th, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
Beautiful kyah
You have fought so hard for so long.I hope you are sleeping peacefully beautiful baby girl.Thank you Kyah for the lessons you have taught me and to Shannel,Jason and the boys for sharing your eautiful daughter and sister with us.Hugs lovely angel while your wings are forming.Hugs and love to you all at this time.